What I Have So Far...

Well, in case you were wondering, this is what I have so far for the beginning of Infected. Most of it is uncertain right now because I cannot decide where to start :(

But before that, if you read it that is, I'd appreciate if you'd help me out a bit by looking for any errors like spelling or grammar :) Also, I'm not sure about Nathan's impression on the reader, well, you'll see if you read it :)

By the way, the prefaces are just ideas I'm playing with right now. But the little introduction thingy is satisfactory (to me).

Preface?
1) “All I knew was a name with a face. Sarah, she didn’t deserve this. No one deserved to suffer like this. I wanted to save her. No, I would save her, or die trying.”

2) Nathan coughed up blood while he struggled to breathe, the bitter, copper taste lingering in his mouth. His body was numb from the collision and the sudden rush of pain. He could barely move his head to look around. The flaming pieces of metal illuminated the corpse of his father. The cackles of the fire and a loud ringing filled his ears. As his eyes gave in to the pain and gave way to darkness, he spotted someone approaching him...

...and to think, he was going to tell her today...

Introduction?
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

Click!

“Goooood morning Everwake! Today’s a beautiful day with clear skies all the way!”

“But there’s a 50% chance of rain...”

“Who cares! All I see are clear skies right now and clear skies later on!

Chapter 1?
It rained that day. Hard. Nathan felt each drop crash on his hood as he walked, dotting its gray color with darker shades of gray. He was cold, tired, and sore. It had been another drunk night for his father. Nathan had restrained himself from retaliating against his father, and his body had suffered for it. At least he was able to avoid being hit in the face. Any other bruise or evidence of the fights with his father were easily hidden under the shelter of his gray hooded sweatshirt and outlet jeans. In particular, there was this nagging pain in his right shoulder, probably from when his father threw him up against the wall. His right shoulder took the brunt of the force. Well, it’s not like he did much at school anyways.

Nathan walked up to the door to his classroom, and just barely dodged the door as it swung violently towards him, threatening to come loose from its rusty latches. After watching his life flash before his eyes in an instant, Nathan was greeted with the usual glare from his teacher. She eyed holes into his back as he took his seat in the back corner.

Class didn’t interest Nathan today. It rarely did. He was still pretty tired from just making it to school, and fell asleep. No one bothered to wake him. Only the bell did him that favor this period, in a classroom filled with those that despised his very existence.

Nathan slept in his next two classes. The morning’s near-death experience woke him up briefly, but last night’s exhaustion had finally caught up to him. Neither teacher bothered to wake him up. They left that job to the students, who only woke Nathan from his slumber in order to take their seat in the next class.


Draft/Idea

Nathan awoke with a chill running up his spine. He felt the goose bumps attempt to keep him warm. Instinctively, he crossed his arms across his chest. But he only felt his left arm. He thought it was numb. He looked to find only an empty sleeve of gray.

“Wha-what the hell?” he said to himself, “Is this a dream?”

He was just dreaming. Any minute now he’d wake up in his bed with the sun about to rise above the horizon. Things like this just didn’t happen in the real world. It had to be a dream.

“So you’re awake,” a voice said impersonally.

“No I’m not,” Nathan said calmly, “Not yet. I’m still asleep. This is all, just a dream.”

A long silence ensued, like the eye of a storm, when everything is at a false sense of serenity and security. Nathan just wanted to wake up soon, despite the life he would awaken into.

But he couldn’t help the whirlwind of questions in his head about his right arm. Even though it was all a dream, why did his mind exclude his right arm from his body?

*So regarding Nathan, I don't know if I made him too apathetic to school, although he is supposed to be apathetic to a certain degree. Also, I may be too unrealistic with the treatment to Nathan by the teachers and the students. That's my main concern with that right now.

**In case you were wondering, there IS a reason for him going to school despite his apathy, I just haven't gotten that far writing it because I'm conflicted with this beginning part lol. If I can get this out of the way, I can move on to the good stuff :)

Once again, I would LOVE any feedback at all. I encourage you to as detailed and opinionated as you can be. Even if I personally don't like it, I can still learn from it and make this beginning and overall story better :)